While it is truly said that there are potentially limitless possibilities for what one can do with a well-carved hunk of fine American K0W meat, this is one that will truly fry the lining off your tongue and leave you crawling back for more.
I have to give a shout out to mah bro Nick Gaeke for hookin' me up with this recipe. Basically it went something like this. I called home to see if my parents were going to hook me up with plane tickets home for the holidays, see? And I'm like, "I want a f*ckin' steak." Nick says to me, here's how to make a good steak. So he tells me about this brand name product allegedly called "Montreal Steak Seasoning", and I'm like "I haven't got any Montreal Steak SeasoningTM©®. What's in it? Can I approximate it?" So he reads me off this list of ingredients, and I happen to have most of them sitting in my cupboard, right next to my bottle of Partially-Hydrogenated Soybean Oil. Not too bad, I sez to myself. So a little later I trudge off to Andronicos and pick myself up all the requisites, and voilà, the rest is history.
(Actually, the rest is a web page, but it sounds so much more euphonic to say "the rest is history," know what I mean?)
Anyhow, here's the deal. Mix the following into something handy and concave like a measuring cup:
Now, go out and get a steak. I'll wait. And I don't mean any retarded little ol' steak, I mean about a 4/5ths pound slab of choice ribeye cow meat.
What the zark are you still doing here? I said go get an everlovin' steak! Jeez you'd think you weren't hungry or something. And while you're at it, pick up some bigass (ca. 2-3 1/2 in. diameter) Shiitake mushrooms and a bunch of fresh garlic.
Okay, that wasn't so hard, now was it?
Slab that slab of meat down into your skillet, and break yourself
off some of that phat, phat garlic; about two cloves should do the
trick. Cut the cloves into fourths. Make four incisions in the
meat, wherever you like is fine as long as it's at least about a
half an inch in from the side. Then stuff each hole with a piece
of the garlic you just cut up. Turn it over and do the same thing
with the remaining four. You did wash your hands before you started
handling the raw meat, though, right?
.............That's disgusting. :-P
Now rub that spice mix you made at the very beginning into the meat. Don't be afraid to use your fingers, as long as you remember to wash up. Once all that's done, cut the stems off the Shiitakes and slice them in two down their diameters.
This is the idea: you want to start cooking the mushrooms and browning the steak now. You might wanna throw in a couple tablespoons of butter since there's so much spice. But eventually you want to get the steak smokin' and hissin' and makin' all kind of fuss, with the mushrooms sort of sitting under it cooking and soaking up juice from the meat. It might be better to do this outside on account of when I did it it filled up most of the house with smoke and I had to open the door to let it out. (That's how my brother did it too.)
At any rate, you'll know when it's done because there'll be a bunch of funky burnt bits in the bottom of the pan and a little bit of juice running loose too. Serving is simple -- just toss that stuff as is out onto your plate, and make sure the meat is squishing down on top of the mushrooms so that when you take a slice of meat you get a bonus extra slice of mushroom under it, too. Oh... and be sure to have lots of water and/or beer to wash it down with. I don't know how y'all will react to this stuff, but it turned my whole face red.
This one-pound slab of choice ribeye web page grilled to perfection by,
Brian R. Gaeke