Cincinnati Chili

I'm from Cincinnati, so I'm allowed to have an opinion about this stuff. This is not what was usually served at my house; see Grandma's Chili for that.

This page is offered up in the memory of the pilgrimages me and my friends sometimes made to JK Chili over lunch break for "a serious 5-way" in high school.

Mix dry ingredients in a bowl:

• Crushed red pepper, 1/2 tsp.
• Chili powder, 4 tbsp.
• Cayenne pepper, 1/2 tsp
• Ground cumin seed, 1 tsp.
• Ground cinnamon, 2 tsp.
• Unsweetened cocoa powder, 3 tbsp.
• Sugar, a pinch.
• Salt, 2 tsp.; more to taste.
• Ground black pepper, 1/2 tsp.
• Ground coriander, 2 tsp.
• Ground allspice, 2 tsp.
• Ground cloves, 1 tsp.

Mix liquid ingredients in another bowl:

• Red wine vinegar, 2 tbsp.
• Finely minced garlic, 5 cloves.
• Worcestershire sauce, 2 tsp.
• Tomato sauce, 8 oz.
• A-1 sauce, 3-4 dashes.

Put in a stockpot on high heat:

• Water, 4 cups.
• Ground beef, 2 lbs.

Break up the ground beef in the water, and add:

• Bay leaves, 1-2 large.

Bring the water to a boil, and then reduce heat so that the water boils slowly. Add the liquid and dry ingredients, and bring to a slow boil again; let the whole thing boil slowly for two and a half hours, or until it is thick and soupy.

Simmer in a separate pot for fifteen minutes:

• Kidney beans, 1 large can.

At the same time, boil:

• Spaghetti or vermicelli.

When the spaghetti is ready, you should have ready a copious amount of

• Mild cheddar cheese, grated

to put on top. Traditionally this is served in an oval dish, and the number of ingredients forms the name of the dish. Usual configurations are as follows, with the ingredients in stacking order from left to right (i.e., a 3-way has spaghetti on the bottom, then chili, and cheese on top):

• 1-way: chili
• 2-way: spaghetti chili
• 3-way: spaghetti chili cheese
• 4-way: spaghetti chili (onions or beans) cheese
• 5-way: spaghetti chili beans onions cheese

Or you could have a Coney, which consists of a half-sized hot dog bun with mustard, a hot dog, topped with chili, then onions, and cheese on top. (The larger rendition of a Coney is called a Foot-Long.)

This abomination eaten with zeal by,